If you’re getting a divorce, one of the worst things you can do is take advice from friends or family who have divorced themselves. This is because no two divorces are the same. Divorces aren’t black-and-white, so the suggestions or advice these people give you may not be what would work best in your case.
Taking advice from outsiders may have unintended negative consequences during your divorce as well. They might tell you to take “your half” of the money out of a bank account or to withhold custody if your spouse isn’t paying support, but these aren’t good pieces of advice to listen to. The only way to make sure you are protected and that you’re doing what’s legal is to talk to your attorney and to be sure to follow the laws that apply to your state.
Divorce advice is well-meant but often harmful
It’s true that advice given from friends or family may be well-meant, but it can be harmful. They might raise your expectations for a settlement that just isn’t possible or give you false hope about getting permanent alimony that isn’t going to work in your case.
To avoid this well-meant, but often inappropriate, advice, it’s a good tip to avoid talking to friends or family about your divorce settlement at all. Instead, if you want to work through how you feel about the divorce, consider talking to a therapist or to your attorney. They will understand how you feel and be able to guide you through both emotional and legal issues since those are their areas of expertise.
Sometimes, the things that friends or family say are meant to be helpful, but they can hurt your case. On top of that, they may post information on the internet that could hurt you in court. It’s worth avoiding those conversations with family and friends. If you do talk to them about your divorce, ask for support, not advice, and that they do not talk about it with others.
Your divorce is unique. You need to focus on the laws and issues that impact it, not the issues that impacted others.